Today was an ordinary day.
Did my treatment twice, did some phisio and went on the bike, made up with the cold (we are best buddies now) and slept for most of the day. And watched football in the evening, CL match, Inter v Man Utd. Pitty Manchester didn't win, they were the better team. Well we still have the return match... Go United !
I saw the shrink yesterday and, what do you know, I am depressed. Duh !.... Will meet again next week and see what happens.
I watched the latest House episode - The softer side- and it was great. I think I am a bit like him in the sense that I am defined by my illness. My life revolves around the CF and I became who I am today because of this. And I don't know if I would change this situation in case a permanent cure will be found for CF. I mean I only know to be the way I am now and I'm not sure that I could change myself. Or wish to change me...
So united I stand, me and my CF...
marți, 24 februarie 2009
duminică, 22 februarie 2009
A bit of cough
Today was a long, boring and dreadfully inconvenient unending row of coughs. Productive coughs, dry coughs, deafening coughs, mutted coughs, voluntary or involuntary reflex coughs and everything in between. We were not amused... ;))
Besides that I was feeling the first symptoms of a cold, my body ache, my head throbbed and I had a runny nose all day till late in the afternoon. We were even less amused... :D
I ttok all the remedies I could think of: lots of hot tea, vitamin C, paracetamol, a homeopathic thingy called Oscilloccocinum and all kinds of mint and eucalyptus balms.
I took all this only to keep myself busy, because I know that a treated cold lasts seven days and untreated a week. :D We are now slightly amused... ;)
Tomorow I'm going to see a "inspirational motivator" or "motivational therapyst" or whatever the quack decides he does. I bet I won't be very amused by him.... :))
Besides that I was feeling the first symptoms of a cold, my body ache, my head throbbed and I had a runny nose all day till late in the afternoon. We were even less amused... :D
I ttok all the remedies I could think of: lots of hot tea, vitamin C, paracetamol, a homeopathic thingy called Oscilloccocinum and all kinds of mint and eucalyptus balms.
I took all this only to keep myself busy, because I know that a treated cold lasts seven days and untreated a week. :D We are now slightly amused... ;)
Tomorow I'm going to see a "inspirational motivator" or "motivational therapyst" or whatever the quack decides he does. I bet I won't be very amused by him.... :))
joi, 19 februarie 2009
Crash, boom, bang
What started as a horrible day and continued as a bland boring afternoon, has ended with a bang.
I was woken up this morning by the howling of the wind outside my window. A terrible snow storm was raging outside so fierce that I couldn't see across the street, everything was dirty white and wet. And, of course, my bones hurt and my joints creaked and crackled with my every move. What can I say, a lovely morning...
After a long hot bath to ease my pains and the daily dose of Pulmozyme and antibiotics I was left with nothing to do all day. Nothing ineresting, that is... There's always "stuff" to do, but not stuff that I wanted to do. Yeah, I'm kind of lazy and easily lose my interest. Eventually I did some of the things, but I was in no mood for work.
Finally I had enough and went to take a nap.
(Intresting reading so far, wan't it ?... :D )
When I woke I dhad a revelation. I knew what was missing from my life. That ellusive element that would complete my existance: A GUITAR. Oh yes, a bloody guitar. My bro has a guitar for some years now, playing with it and looking like someone who plays guitar. :)) So why not me ?
I heard someone saying that playing an instrument, especially a guitar, atracts chicks. Of course, I don't want one for this reason... alone. :D A part of my family tried to convince I don't need one, that I don't know how to play (duh, if I don't have the instrument how am I suppose to know how to play it ?... ) etc. But I stood my ground and...
... I bought the guitar. A red one.
I was woken up this morning by the howling of the wind outside my window. A terrible snow storm was raging outside so fierce that I couldn't see across the street, everything was dirty white and wet. And, of course, my bones hurt and my joints creaked and crackled with my every move. What can I say, a lovely morning...
After a long hot bath to ease my pains and the daily dose of Pulmozyme and antibiotics I was left with nothing to do all day. Nothing ineresting, that is... There's always "stuff" to do, but not stuff that I wanted to do. Yeah, I'm kind of lazy and easily lose my interest. Eventually I did some of the things, but I was in no mood for work.
Finally I had enough and went to take a nap.
(Intresting reading so far, wan't it ?... :D )
When I woke I dhad a revelation. I knew what was missing from my life. That ellusive element that would complete my existance: A GUITAR. Oh yes, a bloody guitar. My bro has a guitar for some years now, playing with it and looking like someone who plays guitar. :)) So why not me ?
I heard someone saying that playing an instrument, especially a guitar, atracts chicks. Of course, I don't want one for this reason... alone. :D A part of my family tried to convince I don't need one, that I don't know how to play (duh, if I don't have the instrument how am I suppose to know how to play it ?... ) etc. But I stood my ground and...
... I bought the guitar. A red one.
miercuri, 18 februarie 2009
Let's just be friends
The ‘Friends Zone’, a place that no one wants to be with the person they are head over heals for. Why? Because the likelihood of ever escaping it is very slim and the progression to full relationship is very hard. And it just sucks to be in...
The most horrible situations when you get all googly eyed when you see your perfect girl but then you are filled with a sad longing and envy when she wraps herself around someone else’s arms (may a piano drop one on him, right now, please Gods! ) and they approach you and she introduces you to them as your "friend".
To avoid the friend’s zone is to never get trapped in it in the first place. When you start to get too close to the person of your dreams then just back off and see other people and preoccupy your time with everything but that person ( yeah right, as if that would ever work !.... ) to avoid becoming the ‘quickly turn around and let's hope he didn't saw me’ one.
That is, if you can stand the fact that you may lose or not develop a very important friendship. But then, when they are dating someone, don’t just wait for them to break up, try your best to spoil their relation, smear his name, spread vicious rumors and keep some distance, but not to distant, so you can "be there for her" to confort her and strike on the rebound.
But that is if you let yourself near the periphery of the friend’s zone. So how do you make the moves on someone who has become a friend?
They would probably think you’re joking and laugh it off when you do and humor is always good when you are making a complete fool of yourself. But the best time to ever try the moves on a friend is probably when you have had gallons of alcohol or, at least, you can pretend to have it in your system because then you have an excuse for the next day, that you can’t remember a thing.
See, doing it after a long lapse of time would make the friendship difficult and awkward. Then it may be best to do it when you just realize that you really like a person and the friendship is just fresh, in which case you shouldt ask that person out, because even if you're rejected at least you may still have a friendship.
And you can start all over again. Right !?!....
The most horrible situations when you get all googly eyed when you see your perfect girl but then you are filled with a sad longing and envy when she wraps herself around someone else’s arms (may a piano drop one on him, right now, please Gods! ) and they approach you and she introduces you to them as your "friend".
To avoid the friend’s zone is to never get trapped in it in the first place. When you start to get too close to the person of your dreams then just back off and see other people and preoccupy your time with everything but that person ( yeah right, as if that would ever work !.... ) to avoid becoming the ‘quickly turn around and let's hope he didn't saw me’ one.
That is, if you can stand the fact that you may lose or not develop a very important friendship. But then, when they are dating someone, don’t just wait for them to break up, try your best to spoil their relation, smear his name, spread vicious rumors and keep some distance, but not to distant, so you can "be there for her" to confort her and strike on the rebound.
But that is if you let yourself near the periphery of the friend’s zone. So how do you make the moves on someone who has become a friend?
They would probably think you’re joking and laugh it off when you do and humor is always good when you are making a complete fool of yourself. But the best time to ever try the moves on a friend is probably when you have had gallons of alcohol or, at least, you can pretend to have it in your system because then you have an excuse for the next day, that you can’t remember a thing.
See, doing it after a long lapse of time would make the friendship difficult and awkward. Then it may be best to do it when you just realize that you really like a person and the friendship is just fresh, in which case you shouldt ask that person out, because even if you're rejected at least you may still have a friendship.
And you can start all over again. Right !?!....
marți, 17 februarie 2009
Trust me ?...
"Love few. Trust no one. Do nothing."
- not William Shakespeare -
I don't trust people very much. Yes I'm cynical, yes I believe they are going to stab me in the back or take advantage of me in some rather unpleasant way. I had some bad experiences when I trusted someone else and now I expect betrayal more often, maybe, than I should. When someone says "Trust me", I just replace every instance of their use of that phrase with "F*ck you, stupid".
In the real world, establishing trust is something I expect to take time ( a really loooong time in my case), something developed through cosy familiarity and experience, and tested in mutual interaction and results. Years ago I read that when you meet someone you make up your mind about that person within the first 5 seconds and do so, to all intents, permanently.
Not surprisingly, establishing trust online is a whole different can of worms. Online the clues are missing. You can get references from friends (if you can trust them...) or try to google him or her (not working either, so don't even bother). There's no opportunity to press "pause" and see people's expressions, no way to pick up the nuances of gesture and voice that are evaluated in the blink of an eye through the experience of a million years of evolution.
This means I have an even bigger problem and few solutions. I can only rely on my instinct (yeah, right, as if it had ever worked before !) and my experiences (which are lousy and only make my problem worse). Mostly I don't listen to what is said, but listen for what is not being said as well, but this can only go so far... So where does that leaves me ?
Trust no one...
- not William Shakespeare -
I don't trust people very much. Yes I'm cynical, yes I believe they are going to stab me in the back or take advantage of me in some rather unpleasant way. I had some bad experiences when I trusted someone else and now I expect betrayal more often, maybe, than I should. When someone says "Trust me", I just replace every instance of their use of that phrase with "F*ck you, stupid".
In the real world, establishing trust is something I expect to take time ( a really loooong time in my case), something developed through cosy familiarity and experience, and tested in mutual interaction and results. Years ago I read that when you meet someone you make up your mind about that person within the first 5 seconds and do so, to all intents, permanently.
Not surprisingly, establishing trust online is a whole different can of worms. Online the clues are missing. You can get references from friends (if you can trust them...) or try to google him or her (not working either, so don't even bother). There's no opportunity to press "pause" and see people's expressions, no way to pick up the nuances of gesture and voice that are evaluated in the blink of an eye through the experience of a million years of evolution.
This means I have an even bigger problem and few solutions. I can only rely on my instinct (yeah, right, as if it had ever worked before !) and my experiences (which are lousy and only make my problem worse). Mostly I don't listen to what is said, but listen for what is not being said as well, but this can only go so far... So where does that leaves me ?
Trust no one...
luni, 16 februarie 2009
Lies
Everybody lies.
Or so says a rather famous character from TV. And I think it is 100% true. We all lie, all the time. So why do we do it?
We lie because we are trying to look good both to ourselves and others. As soon as we feel that our self-esteem is threatened, we immediately begin to lie at higher levels.
Not all lies are harmful. In fact, sometimes lying is the best approach for protecting our privacy and ourselves and others from malice. Some deception, such as boasting and lies in the name of tact and politeness, can be classified as less than serious.
But bald-faced lies (whether they involve leaving out the truth or putting in something false), could be harmful.
I often wonder why people do what they do. What other people do is none of my business, but I’m not yet liberated enough not to wonder about them. So let me make you understand something : most or all that we do is to make ourselves feel better. So we tell lies. Tens, hundreds of lies, we don't even know they are lies, not anymore.
We're trying not so much to impress other people but to maintain a view of ourselves that is consistent with the way they would like us to be. We want to be agreeable, to make the social situation smoother or easier, and to avoid insulting others through disagreement or discord.
I don't think men lie more than women, but we probably lie for different reasons. Men (or I, for that instance) tend to lie to make themselves look better.
We are afraid of how the others perceive us.
So we talk crap, do crap, act like asses, doing whtever it takes, pretending that we are something else or doing something that we wouldn't do, because we are afraid to face the truth, afraid to face reality.
The fact is we can't face reality. That's why everybody lies. Am I lieing now ?...
Or so says a rather famous character from TV. And I think it is 100% true. We all lie, all the time. So why do we do it?
We lie because we are trying to look good both to ourselves and others. As soon as we feel that our self-esteem is threatened, we immediately begin to lie at higher levels.
Not all lies are harmful. In fact, sometimes lying is the best approach for protecting our privacy and ourselves and others from malice. Some deception, such as boasting and lies in the name of tact and politeness, can be classified as less than serious.
But bald-faced lies (whether they involve leaving out the truth or putting in something false), could be harmful.
I often wonder why people do what they do. What other people do is none of my business, but I’m not yet liberated enough not to wonder about them. So let me make you understand something : most or all that we do is to make ourselves feel better. So we tell lies. Tens, hundreds of lies, we don't even know they are lies, not anymore.
We're trying not so much to impress other people but to maintain a view of ourselves that is consistent with the way they would like us to be. We want to be agreeable, to make the social situation smoother or easier, and to avoid insulting others through disagreement or discord.
I don't think men lie more than women, but we probably lie for different reasons. Men (or I, for that instance) tend to lie to make themselves look better.
We are afraid of how the others perceive us.
So we talk crap, do crap, act like asses, doing whtever it takes, pretending that we are something else or doing something that we wouldn't do, because we are afraid to face the truth, afraid to face reality.
The fact is we can't face reality. That's why everybody lies. Am I lieing now ?...
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